if you were a lawyer.  Recognize that acceptance of this rhetoric does not qualify you to present legal advice to clients.  This rhetoric is binding only within the confines of your journal and is void in all other circumstances.  Cash value, 1/10,000th of a cent.

30. Airhead - This is, like, one of those rhetorics ... at least I think it is.  You know, maybe you should ask somebody else about this one.

31. Be a surly waiter - Shut up and be really rude.  Just write your darned rhetoric and let me get back to what I was doing.

32. Write like J.R.R. Tolkien - Rhetorics are cautious things.  They're frightened of big people sometimes and often hide in holes beside the paths where we walk.  Long ago, when eldritch spirits roamed Middle Earth, they were plentiful; today, you will have to seek them out in the fertile ground of your imagination.

33. Drill sergeant talk - Attention!  What is that pen mark on your paper?  Do you call that a rhetoric?  Is that your idea of what a rhetoric looks like?  Huh?  Don't call me sir.  I work for a living.  Now drop and give me 15 minutes on this rhetoric.

34. Techie - Well.  You need to start by sharpening your pencil.  The rotary motion of the sharpener will tear tiny fragments of the pencil away until you have a smooth edge and a sharp point.  Then, use your sharp point to make other sharp points.

35. Sound like Don Corleone - I will not ask you for anything right now.  Just know that some day, somebody will ask you to write this rhetoric.  I expect you to write this rhetoric that day.  I expect you to do it for me.

36.  Sound depressed - Me? Yeah, I've got another journal to write.  No.  I can't go out right now.  Not for 15 minutes at least.  Then I probably have to do another one.


UU. If you didn't have the name you have now, what name would you prefer? Why?

VV. What are your thoughts about commas?

WW. Explain rock and roll.

XX. We call that thing next to our computers a "mouse."  Can you think of a name you like more for it?

YY. If you could have only one luxury feature on your car, what would it be?

ZZ. What is the best thing to do with snow?