20. Sports announcer - Yes! Call that play by play.  Make something sound exciting at the same time as you give it a lot of almost tedious detail.

21.  Paranoid person - Who said you should write this rhetoric?  Who did?  Was it Joe?  What was he wearing?

22. Boss talk - Now, listen carefully.  What I want you to do is write.  Write it not too strong and not too weak.  Write it just the way you can imagine a boss telling an employee, a boss who gives a lot more detail than you need and who sounds as if he (or she) doesn't really have confidence you can do it.

23. Like a rock and roll DJ - All right.  That was an Effective Writing student playing the "I've Got a Journal to Write Blues."  That's the latest release on King's College Discs, and it rocks.  Hey, whaddaya say?  Let's hear it again.

24. Parent-to-child talk - That was good writing, honey.  Can you write like that some more?  Can you write short sentences that don't say that much?  Can you sound supportive and instructive as if you are talking to someone a lot younger than you are?

25. Runway announcer - Write in the hushed tones of someone describing the fantastic new line from Ralph Lauren.  Stunning.  Bold use of color.  Make your writing dynamic.  Use color.  Be elegant, but look for that
je ne sais quoi that says "sassy."

26. Rich snob talk - But, of course, you know what this rhetoric is about, don't you?  Why, everyone who is anyone knows how a rich snob talks.

27. Home Shopping Channel host(ess) - Sound perky as you talk all about the virtues of whatever you're discussing.  Did you know that you get a free salad bowl when you use this rhetoric?  If you do it now, we'll even throw in a real, artificial rhinestone.

28. Like a Brit - I say, old chap.  You wouldn't know the fastest way to write this rhetoric, would you?  Just write it the way Michael Caine talks?  Smashing.  Thanks for the tip.  Right-o.

29. Legalese - You, the party of the first part, should write as

HH. Describe your ace procedure for meeting the man or woman or your dreams.

II. Discuss your feelings for the Chicago Cubs.

JJ. Imagine life without cars.

KK. Explain why hub caps are necessary.

LL. Describe a pencil.

MM. Talk about the music you hate most.

NN. Discuss your feelings about the next election.

OO. Talk about what it feels like to be writing "2001" on checks and other things you date.

PP. What is your favorite kind of plant?

QQ. What sort of thoughts do you imagine a goldfish might have as it swims in its bowl?

RR. Is Michael Jordan the greatest athlete of all time?

SS. What colors do you think classrooms should be painted.

TT.  Do you have a funny name for your car, computer, or other device that's part of your life?  What is it?