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20. Sports announcer - Yes! Call that play by
play. Make something sound exciting at the same time as
you give it a lot of almost tedious detail.
21.
Paranoid person - Who said you should write this
rhetoric? Who did? Was it Joe? What was he
wearing?
22. Boss talk - Now, listen carefully.
What I want you to do is write. Write it not too strong
and not too weak. Write it just the way you can imagine
a boss telling an employee, a boss who gives a lot more detail
than you need and who sounds as if he (or she) doesn't really
have confidence you can do it.
23. Like a rock and roll
DJ - All right. That was an Effective Writing student
playing the "I've Got a Journal to Write Blues." That's
the latest release on King's College Discs, and it
rocks. Hey, whaddaya say? Let's hear it
again.
24. Parent-to-child talk - That was good
writing, honey. Can you write like that some more?
Can you write short sentences that don't say that much?
Can you sound supportive and instructive as if you are talking
to someone a lot younger than you are?
25. Runway
announcer - Write in the hushed tones of someone describing
the fantastic new line from Ralph Lauren.
Stunning. Bold use of color. Make your writing
dynamic. Use color. Be elegant, but look for that
je ne sais
quoi that says
"sassy."
26. Rich snob talk - But, of course, you know
what this rhetoric is about, don't you? Why, everyone
who is anyone knows how a rich snob talks.
27. Home
Shopping Channel host(ess) - Sound perky as you talk all about
the virtues of whatever you're discussing. Did you know
that you get a free salad bowl when you use this
rhetoric? If you do it now, we'll even throw in a real,
artificial rhinestone.
28. Like a Brit - I say, old
chap. You wouldn't know the fastest way to write this
rhetoric, would you? Just write it the way Michael Caine
talks? Smashing. Thanks for the tip.
Right-o.
29. Legalese - You, the party of the first
part, should write as |
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