11. Use irony - Try to sound sarcastic.  Try to sound like you don't mean whatever it is you are saying.  Mean it, though.  (If this sounds weird, imagine David Letterman saying, "Aren't we having fun, kids?")  You're really, really hip.  Why not say it and just make everyone else figure out how you mean it?

12. Be political - Write in the style of a State of the Union Address.  (If you aren't familiar with such addresses, imitate any political address you know.)

13. Use alliteration - Recognize the resonance of the words you write.  Capture consecutive consonants or allow aspirants to enter your work.

14. Kvetch - Ohhh, enough of this already.  There's too much worrk, my fingers are sore, and I am running out of things to say.  So, complain, but complain in a sing-song way.

15. Teen-age telephone talk - Oh my gosh! Did you hear that he wants us to write another journal entry?  I heard Sally said Tommy told her there were supposed to be 16 of them!

16. One sided-phone conversation - Uh-huh.  Yeah.  That's it.  Just sit down and write.  Yeah, about 15 minutes without stopping.  You should try to write as if you are only one voice in a two-person telephone conversation.  Of course.  You're welcome.  And no, I did not put the shaving cream in your tennis shoes.

17. Coach-speak - Don't just sit there.  Write.  The students at Wilkes aren't just sitting there.  Nooo.  They're busy writing.  And they're counting on you not to write.  They're just waiting for you to roll over for them.  But you know what?  I can't here you?  We're gonna get them.  You're gonna get them.  Now go write that journal.

18. Third person self - Joe thinks this might be a good rhetoric for you to try.  He says you should think about writing about yourself as if you were describing someone else.

19. Dr. Evil - If you don't write this journal entry now, I will have you liquidated, won't I Mr. Bigglesworth?  Just write the journal entry and deposit one hundred billion dollars - in quarters thank you very much - into the Big Boy bank.

R. Write a brief profile of an animal.

S. Describe chairs.

T. Write about a daydream you had recently.

U. Argue for or against the fashion possibilities of purple, black, and white.

V. Summarize a newspaper or magazine essay you read recently.

W. Describe a mall.

X. Describe our library.

Y. Tell what you know about the Internet.

Z. Plot a perfect crime.

AA. Describe the last wedding you attended.

BB. Propose a new system for registering for classes.

CC. Argue for or against pep rallies in college.

DD. Describe your prom.

EE. Describe the highlight of your athletic career.

FF. Write a profile of someone who missed the interview you had scheduled.

GG. Argue for or against the importance of proper bibliographic form.