and try to be clever in indicating their falsehood.

3. Surferspeak - Try to sound like a surfer dude or dudette, y'know, like from the Valley.

4. Extended metaphor/Allegory - A good writer is like a lawn-mower; he or she imposes a regular pattern on the chaos of grass and weeds in the midst of his or her topic, cutting each blade down to sentence-height and giving it a manicured place in the garden of the argument.  Use a metaphor that goes well beyond its original function.  Let it run rampant.  If you need to use three or four different ones to complete your entry, then do so.

5. Enter Wayne's World - Imitate Wayne.  (What you do with Garth is up to you.)

6. Sarcasm - Say exactly what you mean.  Write so that every single nuance of your styles contributes to the direct and straightforward meaning of your text.  Whatever you do, don't imply that you might mean the reverse of what you are saying.

7. Exaggerated parallelism/Anaphora - Repeat the same group of words at the beginning of successive clauses or paragraphs; repeat that group of words to play with the emphasis of your argument or narrative; repeat that same group to imply connections in your material that might not otherwise be there; repeat those words throughout your paper, experimenting with their effect.

8. Timewarp -Write in the style you might have used when you were a first-year student in high school.

9. Impersonate Hemingway -Sound like bad Hemingway.  Measure each word.  Make your sentences short.  Use short words.  Let the deep pain lie beneath your words.  Know your subject.  Write your subject.  Know your writing is good.  (If you haven't read any Hemingway, don't worry; you should still be able to fake it just fine.)

10. Go to DisneyWorld - Try to sound as if you have just quarterbacked your team to a 77-0 Super Bowl victory or as if you have just won Nobel prizes for literature and physics in the same year.  You are unstoppable and brilliant.  Even E.F. Hutton shuts up and listens when you speak.  Someone wants your opinion on something.

F.  Write about a time that you found yourself enjoying the music that was playing around you.

G. Write about a television show you absolutely hated.

H.  Describe someone you know from school.  Use pseudonyms as necessary.

I. Describe cigarettes.

J. Describe your morning in detail.  Leave nothing out.

K. Argue for or against banning bicycles on River Road.

L. Write a dialogue between the subject of your profile and anyone else you choose.

M. Explain why birds sing.

N. Summarize
Hamlet (or Moby Dick, or Star Wars, or any book or movie most of the class will be familiar with.)

O. Tell the history of a monument or painting on campus.

P. Argue for or against the claim that Beck is the greatest rock and roll performer in America today.

Q. Write about a time in your experience when a question of etiquette arose.